The death of a loved one

The death of a loved one can be one of the most difficult times in a persons life, no matter how old they are. However, when you have a mental health illness it can be seen as a “trigger”. The thing to set you off on this journey of destruction but it is always a bad thing? Some say things happen for a  reason which is a load of old tosh if you ask me but still some say it, they even go as far to say it was their time, or destiny or whatever else you like to believe, I’m not here to judge. But when your a vulnerable 16 year old and you lose one of the sweetest, most caring and lovable people little people you will ever met, do you ever really get over it? I don’t think so, I think you get used to the idea of that person not being around anymore and you learn to live your life without them but do you get over it, no. This “trigger” statement you hear a lot of when your in the mental health services, what was your trigger? they ask and sometimes you don’t have an answer, you feel the way you do simply because no big life event happened to make you feel this way, you just woke up one day and didn’t feel quite right. Being the case for many, was this the case for me? Truth be told, I don’t know. I lost a beautiful little niece who was my world, my mini-me in the making and my pride and joy. Losing her was the toughest thing to ever happen to my family and myself and it could have easily been my trigger, but did I feel right before then? Was I just hiding the fact I wasn’t well? I will never know and neither will so many others. We just have to learn that some things are unknown and that the death of a loved one, seen as a “trigger” by many, may just be another one of them awful things sent to test us.

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